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Hole In My Heart Podcast

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Episode 122: The Problems with Polyamory with Dr. Branson Parler

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57 minutes | Friday, April 24, 2020
In the circles we run, there is one common answer to the question: What will be the next thing when it comes to sexuality? Their answer? Polyamorous relationships. What do you know about them? (Other than that they are a romantic, sexual relationship between three or more people?) Did you know that 24% of church-going people think that consensual non-monogamous relationships are morally acceptable? Or that as many as 1 in 5 Americans have been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship, and 5% are currently in one? (That’s about as many people who identify as LGBTQ+.) How can we biblically...
43 minutes | Friday, April 17, 2020
But what about the kids? **We recorded this episode pre-quarantine, and once again, God provided the content we needed for this unforeseen moment. I know our own kids (Matt and Laurie's) are wrestling with their emotional balance in this quarantine life. Are the kids or young adults in your life struggling at all? Let's help them, yeah? (Whether they are wrestling with anxiety, depression, have been walking a journey on the autism spectrum, or have experienced sexual trauma as kids.) The person who is going to help us to help them is Dr. Matthew Stanford, CEO of the Hope and Healing Center ...
52 minutes | Friday, April 10, 2020
This is the therapy sesh we all need right now.  Counselor, author, and teacher, Dr. Alison Cook, co-author of Boundaries for Your Soul has a word for us about what to do with our overwhelming thoughts and emotions. (Anyone got some of those these days?) But, what can we do with them? We can turn them into our allies. "Emotions are not your enemy, they are queues," she said. "Learn about them, pay attention to them, don’t let them rule you, but get to know them. Let them be an aid to you  on your journey to wholeness."  How do we do that? Alison does a beautiful job of helping us take not j...
49 minutes | Friday, April 3, 2020
Again. God, in His mercy, knew that we would need this episode today when we recorded it over one month ago. Today, Matt and I (Laurie) introduce you to our for-real small group. These are people who are a huge part of our lives and are truly the reason Matt and I are still married. In an age where large-group churches cannot meet and small groups are meeting online, this group has become even more of our lifeline. Now, we don't just meet every-other week for a couple of hours hours, we meet online every week, have started a daily online Bible reading together, and are texting and praying f...
43 minutes | Friday, March 27, 2020
In this home-centered, pandemic-laden world we are in, God, in his kindness, had Matt and I (Laurie) record a mini-series last month where we opened up our real world to you. Today, we are sharing it. In episode two of three of the "Our World" series, we invited our friend, Stephanie Thole, to help us learn how to have a conversation bridging the gap between sexuality and race conversations. Are these conversations so similar? Are they so different? Is it really true that if you are pro- "Black Lives Matter" you also must be pro- "Love is Love"? Hang out with us and our real-life friends to...
44 minutes | Friday, March 20, 2020
As many of us hunker down into our homes, Matt and I (Laurie) open up our real lives to you. In this "Our World" mini series, will cover the following topics: 1. When I walked with someone for months and it seemed like a failure, 2. The sticky intersection between the race and LGBT+ conversations, 3. How God encouraged us to form a small group that has changed our lives. Today: When discipleship "fails." I walked away from a discipleship relationship with Kara Martin several years ago feeling hopeful but doubtful. I was hopeful she would follow Jesus, but I wasn't sure I did anything to he...
41 minutes | Friday, March 13, 2020
This is timely. In the midst of a global pandemic, one of the stock market's worst weeks, and fear invading many corners of our hearts, bestselling author, John Eldredge, brings a critical message to the podcast table this week. “Your soul is never meant to carry all of this," he said. "The human soul is not designed for these conditions.” It isn't. We are not meant to carry the insanity of a broken world. So how do we engage it with maturity? Learn with us as we talk through a message that literally changed (and is changing) our lives. //: Highlights: “The world that we live in gets everyb...
37 minutes | Friday, March 6, 2020
"Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us," the writer of Hebrews tells us (Heb. 12:1). But what does that mean, exactly? Where are we going? To death? To the New Heavens and New Earth? To more suffering? And how do we run this race without being legalistic about it: Just keep swimming. Just keep going. Just do it. That's what Christians do. Author and teacher, Trillia Newbell, helps us understand more of this race running in a compelling conversation that we hope will inspire you to take the next right step.   //: Highlights:  “What legalism is is you’re trying to walk the ...
46 minutes | Thursday, February 27, 2020
Yes, yes, yes, we know: We live in a sex-saturated world. Move on, right?  Maybe. But is there something we can do about it? Do we simply have to endure the brokenness around us and within us, or can we take some Christ-following steps in the right direction? Our dear friend and newly minted author, Rachel Gilson, thinks we can. Her critical new book, Born Again This Way, not only tells the story of how she came to Christ at Yale through a stolen copy of Mere Christianity, but she unpacks how someone who experiences same-sex attraction can do the stumbly discipleship walk of daily surrender...
51 minutes | Friday, February 21, 2020
Identity. Labels. Names. Who are you? God knows. No, not like, "Oh, only God knows," but like, He knows you. Knows us. Knows our true identity. Esther Fleece Allen, author of the new book, Your New Name: Saying Goodbye to Labels that Limit, is determined to help us know it, too. Her story is gripping, and her love for Jesus and people is palpable. Join us?   //: Highlights: “If I don’t know who I am and who God names me, I will inevitably be redefined and renamed by the culture.” --Esther Fleece Allen “I was thirteen ... I probably should have gone into the foster care system. I didn’t know...
37 minutes | Friday, February 14, 2020
Is anyone tired? Is anyone a tired leader? Author, teacher, and today's guest, Ruth Haley Barton, cares about you and the wellness of your soul (and so do we). But who is a leader? "If anybody is following you," Barton said, "then you are a leader and you need to pay attention to your leadership and the influence you are having on the world." This means stay-at-home parents, ministry leaders, people in the marketplace, and all of you with followers on the socials are leaders. We are tired as leaders, Ruth! She gets that, which is why we dove into how we can uplift our souls today on the pod...
58 minutes | Friday, February 7, 2020
Oh, guys. We went to town on this one. David Bennett, a former atheist gay activist turned Christian apologist, came back to the HIMH podcast for the second time and turned. It. Up.  We talked about why in the world gay/straight/everyone needs to engage this sexuality conversation, the “slippery slope” of universalism, debating people on the internet, and how to practically love our friends who disagree with us with genuine love and gentleness. Listen to all the grit and the glory, and then … how about we start a revival after, yeah? This, in our humble opinion, is not one to miss.   //: Hi...
54 minutes | Friday, January 31, 2020
Because of this interview, I [Laurie] called the trafficking hotline for a suspicious building I drive past. I didn't know if that was a weird or helpful thing to do before before talking with our guest today, Rebecca Bender. Rebecca is the author of the new book, In Pursuit of Love, is a survivor of human trafficking, and has trained law enforcement officers, Homeland Security and the FBI on how to approach anti-human trafficking efforts. She also trained us a bit through this interview. “What’s really important is trafficked victims like myself grow up in the same culture as all of you," ...
55 minutes | Friday, January 24, 2020
Anyone relate to thinking that life will be x, but then it’s not even y … it ends up being q? Or t? Or 27? How do we deal with these unmet expectations besides throwing clichés and sprinkling a lil’ Jesus on it? Author, teacher, and broadcaster Sheridan Voysey offers zero clichés and all real-life learning how to suffer well with his own version of facing “When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned.” Get it, fam.   //: Highlights: “You think about trying for a child? Every month there is an expectation followed by disappointment. An expectation followed by disappointment … That’s the first three or fo...
44 minutes | Friday, January 17, 2020
Bestselling author and pastor David Platt rocks. He navigated our interview with humility and courage. Not only did he open up his heart and journals with us about his new book 'Something Needs to Change' (and how he went from writing "coldhearted" sermons about poverty and sex trafficking to weeping about them both), but he also encouraged us and leaders everywhere not to sit down when it comes to engaging culture's urgent challenging questions about sexuality. Hear his humble exhortation with us today on the podcast.   //: Highlights: "If I preach the whole counsel of God but ignore the a...
1 hour 8 minutes | Friday, January 10, 2020
Maybe it's just us, maybe it's just our generation . . . maybe it's just this year? But it seems to us as if the vulnerable pursuit that comes with friendship can be extra challenging for some men. Can we get an a-men? (Ha...) Today, we invited some of our new friends, Sam and Blaine Eldredge (yes, the sons of John and Stasi), to help us better understand why friendships for men can be extra challenging. We talk about some intense (and fun) things, of course, including: What do are you nerdy about? Why don't many men pursue each other's hearts? (How can they?) How can men neither detach fro...
56 minutes | Friday, January 3, 2020
New year, new Hole in My Heart Podcast theme music, new website ... what else is new? Well, with all of this new, how about something old? Like throwback time? Matt and Laurie realized that there are many NEW listeners out there, and you might not know their stories. So, we deep-dive a bit into them. Matt talks about the heart of his journey with pornography addiction (and how he finally got set free from it), and Laurie talks about her discipleship journey with her version of broken sexuality. We also take your premarital questions. (Ya'll send us quite a few! We love them--any variety. Ke...
40 minutes | Friday, December 27, 2019
Guys. We wrote a study! And it's been published! I--Laurie--began writing this while I was walking out my discipleship journey with my mentor, Carolyn. I take the lessons she taught me, sprinkle additional ones God has brought me through over the years, and invite you to join me on the journey. We explore things like how to listen to God, lament, what to do with temptation, how to process shame, Core Needs, and lots more. This is literally the book I wish I had been able to walk through when I was wrestling the most with my sexuality. It is zero percent conversion therapy. It is all the gos...
12 minutes | Friday, December 20, 2019
Let's just have a little fun, yeah? Gwyn and Juliette Krieg, Matt and Laurie's two oldest kids, come into the studio to discuss favorite parts about Christmas, what to do when you feel lonely and there is no one to hug, and--because we can't stop won't stop--what marriage means to them. Merry Christmas, podcast fam! For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/merry-christmas-from-the-krieg-kids/
52 minutes | Friday, December 13, 2019
Okay, guys. This one. I don't think we have ever been as surprised as we were with Kenneth Boa. He is a highly accomplished scholar, author, and teacher--with four degrees (and two doctoral degrees)--and good grief: When we asked him the questions we ask everyone (about when the gospel was first good news for him) we were floored. This guy came to Christ while on an LSD trip during the summer of love in the 1960s. Yep. You heard it here, guys. You have to listen to understand and believe how God did it. After recovering from our shock, we were surprised again: Ken is not just an academic gu...
47 minutes | Friday, December 6, 2019
Talking about walking away from toxic people can feel like a too-challenging (and maybe unbiblical?) conversation. But, shoot: Relationship expert and author, Gary Thomas, convinced us through his latest book and this interview that knowing when to walk away from toxic people is a critical practice for Christians. Jesus walked away from toxic people (or let them walk away from Him), and we should to ... for the sake of the Kingdom. Why? How? We dive in with Gary, and explore toxic discipleship, marriages, friendships, and the most critical one for us: how we can stop being toxic to ourselve...
47 minutes | Tuesday, November 26, 2019
Guys? We got some big changes coming to Hole in My Heart Ministries, and we are excited to share them with you today. In addition to the changes, we are exploring a couple of your questions with some answers: Why does marriage have to be between one man and one woman? (We share our top three--well, four--favorite reasons.) How do we walk with and speak truth to a believer who believes a same-sex, romantic relationship is right for them? (We offer some specific help.) Let's dig in!   //: Highlights: "You guys didn't assume the 'Why marriage?' question. That's what's been really unique about...
48 minutes | Friday, November 22, 2019
God puts a dream inside of all of us. Wait. Does He? How does that work? And how do you know if it is a selfish one or something that is literally from Him? And what about those of us who feel like expendable folks--with "worthless" or no dreams? Lauren Chandler, wife to Matt Chandler (yes, that Matt Chandler), and mother of three, is a worship leader, author, and helper of us in this conversation about how can we balance our dreams with God's desires. It's a poignant interview that includes God taking a starry-eyed Lauren through an addiction group (Celebrate Recovery) to help her see her...
52 minutes | Friday, November 15, 2019
Many people abuse hearing from God. But just because they misuse the process, does it mean we shouldn't engage? Jim Samra, someone who literally wrote the book about it, helps us to think about how we can wisely approach listening to God. (And that book title is pretty funny: 'God Told Me: Who to Marry, Where to Work, Which Car to Buy ... And I'm Pretty Sure I'm Not Crazy.') Jim also guides us through questions such as, "How mature do you have to be to hear from God?" "What if you are living in sin--does God still speak to you?" "How does the Bible interact with this process?" "Can and shou...
1 hour 10 minutes | Friday, November 8, 2019
This is another episode where if we could pay you to listen to it, we would. We believe it is that important. Heather was born female, but in her young twenties, fully socially transitioned to male. Now, she is again living as her born-female self, and is running toward Jesus. How did this happen? You know, for all the conversations we have about gender/sexuality/etc., it's funny that we keep waiting for the answer to, "How did this happen?" to be something other than the gospel. Something other than learning how to suffer well alongside each other. Something other than surrendering idols a...
33 minutes | Friday, November 1, 2019
This is another one of those episodes seeking to answer questions we receive often: At what age do we start talking with our kids about sexuality? How do we do it, exactly? What about gender stuff? How do we help alleviate some of the blurring of the lines that is going on with gender these days--without holding onto stereotypes? Who better to help us out than author and teacher, Dannah Gresh? She has been in the ministry of educating young people regarding sexuality for many years. (And if you think she is speaking old-school purity movement stuff, think again. This woman is on fire, and ...
55 minutes | Friday, October 25, 2019
The purpose of this podcast is to "explore how the gospel is good news for everyone every day." Most often, we talk about how the gospel relates to sexuality/gender (as those conversations have been neglected for too long in the Church), however part of the good news of the gospel is it eliminates walls and barriers between people—racial barriers included. Our friend, Kinita Schripsema, helps us to launch into this conversation from a place we need to start: the heart. Kinita was kind enough to let us ask many dumb questions (although she was gracious to not call them dumb!) in order to get...
48 minutes | Friday, October 18, 2019
We get a decent amount of questions about how to engage healthy friendship (and touch) as single people. So, we asked one of our dear single friends, Meg Baatz, to help us navigate some more of this friendship quagmire. Some of the questions we explored include: What is the difference between finding community as a single person or as a married person? What is Meg's journey with finding community? Why are people so awkward when it comes to being friends with people of the same sex (if those people experience attractions toward the same sex)? How can we all be friends? How can we engage heal...
44 minutes | Friday, October 11, 2019
This interview kicked our tails. Do you know what to do when you encounter someone who is experiencing homelessness? We thought we did ... sort of? Give them a few bucks? Offer a pack of things you have ready in your car? Pray with them? Terence Lester, activist, speaker, and author of I See You: How Love Opens Our Eyes to Invisible People, ​helps us practically navigate how we can better see people experiencing poverty and homelessness and thereby learn a lesson on how we can really see everyone.   //: Highlights: "We are all poor in some way. When we understand that (when we understand wh...
45 minutes | Friday, October 4, 2019
Friends. We need them. They can also be a big challenge. It can be hard to put them in their proper, healthy place (neither diminishing them nor elevating them)—whether we are married or single. Today, we primarily look at how to have healthy friendships through the married lens, but single people? We believe and hope and pray you will be blessed, too. Kelly Needham, author of the new book Friendish, helps us explore questions such as, “Can we have covenant friendships outside of marriage?” “What are signs of when friendships are moving into an unhealthy direction?” “Are our spouses suppose...
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Episode 122: The Problems with Polyamory with Dr. Branson Parler
Hole In My Heart Podcast

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