Episode 235: The Most Important Part of Parenting | Dan Allender

Hole In My Heart Podcast

• Podcast Home
• Download Episode

Friday, January 31, 2025 - 45 minutes

This episode left us speechless.

Today, we are joined again by psychologist and author Dan Allender to talk about the most important part of parenting: Your marriage. 

(If you are a single mom or dad, we bless you and intersperse much of the conversation with relating the conversation to close friendships.)

For those of us who are married, why is that the most important part of marriage? Dan tells us well: 

“Our children are given the gift of watching the reality of love and life brokenness and beauty being played out in the theater of our marriage,” he says. “They are in the audience watching closely—far more closely than we presume. If our marriage doesn’t have the ability to actually name brokenness but also glory in one another, our children are going to be hungry souls looking for what they were made for.”

Okay, Dan. Help us out, friend. How can we lean in without setting the bar too high or low?

This episode is one we will be going back to again and again.

| Highlights |

• “The process of growing in maturity is a family affair.” —Dan Allender
• “You can communicate well in marriage when you learn to suffer on behalf of the other.” —Dan Allender
• “My story needs to be known by my spouse well enough and deep enough to be able to engage it. Eventually, our kids need to know our stories. Each and every detail? No. Age appropriate.” —Dan Allender

| QOTW |

What is your go-to birthday dinner?

| Next Steps |

• Talking with us about “Sexuality and Shame” here.
• We also talked with Dan and Cathy Loerzal about “Which of the Six Types are You?”  here.
• Check out Dan’s sites here and here.
• Snag his latest marriage book here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Subscribe to this podcast

• Apple Podcasts
• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• RSS Feed