Episodes
Okay, friends, let’s play “would you rather”...
Would you rather have an all-expenses paid, two week vacation in a tropical oasis—but there is one catch: You have to be discontent every second of the trip.
Or, would you rather be locked up in jail, and you are cold, hungry, have few clothes, but you know God called you there, and so all you want to do is joyfully, contentedly worship God—so you do.
Likely, most of us would pick the second option.
But what does that choice tell us?
We think it says contentment is critical and our circumstances don’t matter as much as we might think they do.
...
How do we cultivate our minds?
Today, we'll tackle this question with the always-joyful Dr. Kathy Koch, a child development expert and long-time minister.
We'll especially be taking a look at "the eight smarts," which are:
Word-smart: They think in words. When they're excited, they usually talk or write. They often thrive in school.
Logic-smart: They think with questions. They ask more questions when they're excited. Usually, they like math and science, and they love things to make sense.
Picture-smart: They think with their eyes, in pictures. Pay attention to color, design, where things ar...
Anyone else feeling a bit down about your physical self these days?
Why don't we have Sarah Young offer her thoughts?
Sarah is a marriage and sex therapist who has wrestled with her body image.
Together, we cover:
What should single people do with their sexuality?
How do we stop hating ourselves into liking ourselves?
What if we never talk about sex in our marriage?
What is the ultimate form of intimacy--for real?
How can the Church help?
We'd love for you to join the conversation.
// Highlights:
"[H]ow do I care for my heart and validate the struggle in the midst of the noise? How do I ...
It's time to bring even more color and clarity to the Oneness Mountain in this second part of our introduction to the Gardens Series!
Today, Matt and Laurie bring examples and Core Needs so we can better see that life is more than a timeline. It is more like a group of gardens to cultivate with each other and Gardener God.
After you listen, will you let us know the answer to the question: "How is your church community doing at cultivating oneness (unity, intimacy) right now? What's one way they/you are doing it well?"
Let us know so we can encourage each other with practical care! (Email: p...
We at HIMH often about how “marriage and singleness are equally valuable modes we fulfill the mission to make disciples.”
But how can we to-our-core believe this if we view life only as a timeline? … You are born, you go to school, you get married, you make Christian babies, you tithe, and you die.
“Single people?” Married people say with this timeline in mind. “Uh, yeah, you’re valuable. You don’t fit the script, but you’re great!!!!!!”
We married folk are well-meaning, but a tad insincere.
However, if we do not view life simply as a timeline, rather a group of gardens to cultivate with Ga...
Author and speaker Hannah Brencher talks real life:
She's wrestled with life-threatening depression, has been a viral TED speaker, and is here today to help us to get some soul stability if our mental health has taken a hit.
Together, we explore:
How can we put practices in place without feeling like legalists?
How can we face the inner critic if he/she doesn't stop berating us?
If we show up and fail, how can we recover?
2021 requires real life conversations, and Hannah's the right one for the job.
//: Highlights
“I knew in my soul, ‘You’re not gonna hide. You’re gonna show up anyway. You...
This is a needed conversation, and author and apologist Sean McDowell is the right one to have it.
As parents and ministry leaders, we don't always know how to answer Gen Z's toughest questions. Praise the Lord that Sean does, and that he's willing to help us to unpack ones like:
“Why would God keep me from loving whomever I want to love?"
“Why do you call your attractions to the same sex brokenness? You are not broken.”
“I just need to be free. Why are you stopping me from freedom?”
“If I am attracted to the same sex, why would God call me to loneliness (ie. singleness)?”
“Who cares about ...
Buckle your seatbelts, friends. This episode gets a bit bumpy.
Maybe your family—like ours—has people with different political beliefs in it. When I (Laurie) chose to co-host this episode with my dad, I didn’t realize a major theme would be loving each other through differing political beliefs.
The major gift of this surprise theme was that by the end, we were all nodding in agreement with each other—unified in the gospel.
And oh yeah… the matchless Os Guinness may have been our guest, but he acted like a brilliant mediator guiding my dad and I (and our divided world?) toward grace for each...
The world feels like it’s on fire, and if we are honest? Many of us have started or increased unhealthy habits to cope.
Some have turned to porn, the use of which increased globally by 11% at the start of the pandemic.
But wait! If this is you or a friend? Before you turn away in shame or self-hatred, we pray and believe that this conversation with John Michael Cusick, licensed professional counselor, teacher, and author of Surfing for God will truly encourage you.
Discover the heart behind porn addiction and how you can overcome it—yes, even now while the world is on fire—on today’s episod...
What’s your word for the year?
On this episode, Matt, Laurie, and Steve talk about what God has taught them in 2020 (yes—even in 2020!). Leaps of faith, major life changes, and—how could we forget?—Rona! Through it all, God has been faithful.
Heading into 2021, then, the crew also addresses what God is pointing to for the future—thus, our words.
With that—Happy New Year, and happy listening!
//: Highlights
“He is holding onto me when I’m not grabbing onto Him, when I grab for other things.” -Steve O’Dell
“[Transactional interaction] is not the Father’s heart. He gives generously ‘cause He i...
These days, it's so easy to fall into a "what-have-you-done-for-me-lately" mindset.
We like following that person, we enjoy that podcast, we appreciate that channel--but serve them? Partner with them? Nah.
Unless we do. We are so grateful for listeners who have stepped up to support and volunteer with our ministry--including the two we are highlighting today: Jon Leach and Amanda Mclaurin.
These two were more than hearers of the Word, they were doers...and we are forever grateful. Hear their story, their "why" for saying yes to the Spirit's prompting, and how we can lean in where God is cal...
Purity culture—yep, we’re going there.
Ladies and gents—if you’ve ever felt that your worth, dignity, or purity were wrapped up in your sexuality, this is for you.
On this episode, Rachel Joy Welcher, author of new book *Talking Back to Purity Culture*, helps us debunk the myths of sexuality that have come from purity culture.
Join us as we celebrate the gospel and all the gifts Christ gives—even in our sexuality.
//: Highlights
“You can’t stop your spouse from sinning if they want to sin—but you can sure love them!” -Rachel Joy Welcher
“You don’t fight sexual sin with sex. You fight sexual...
2020 has been a year of uncertainty and suffering for all of us.
Joy might be the farthest thing from our minds as we look back on this season of loss and chaos.
But guys? Joy is still God’s heart for us.
Today, we hear from Shaunti Feldhahn about how we can cultivate a habit of joy—even in the midst of the deepest loss and confusion. Join us as we hear from her on this delightful gift that God has given and called us to.
//: Highlights
“[Joy] is something that you actually have to pursue, because it is there. It’s like the Kingdom—You know, Jesus talked so much about “My kingdom” being her...
Do you remember even two or four years ago when you could remind stirred-up Christians, "Hey, guys? We got to love our enemies!" and they would often say, "Oh, yeah!"
Nowadays, when you say the same thing, it would not be unusual to hear something like, "Nah. I'm good."
Pastor and author Scott Sauls is here to wake us up with how to address our enemies in this sometimes-hostile 2020 world.
This is another conversation we will not soon forget.
//: Highlights
“Righteous anger attacks problems; raging anger attacks people….We’re supposed to love our enemies, not put them in their place.” -Scot...
It’s Thanksgiving in the States!
Today, from our respective shelter-in-place spots (again!), we are sharing what we are grateful for and hearing from you. Not only that, however, but we are sharing what we have learned in this very hard year, and how we can take that good, suffering-produced fruit into 2021. We are thankful for YOU guys, today!
//: Highlights
"I’m thankful for how much it’s had to scrape away false identities that I didn’t even know that I was holding onto. Because I am so ambitious and I have so much drive, that it could kill me—and us [Matt and Laurie]. I’m not saying I’m...
We have been on pins and needles waiting to release this episode to you all! It is one of those episodes we can't stop thinking about...
Author and pastor, John Mark Comer, brings it. He helps us to think deeply about questions like, "What is success?" "What defines failure?" "What do we do when we are overwhelmed with the calling God has on our lives?" "How do we understand our identity in the midst of the culture we live in?"
Pop in those earbuds and go on that walk, do those dishes, make that Thanksgiving meal, but you may find you need to pause and take notes because this brother has so...
Walking alongside people who wrestle with their gender identity is such a unique journey.
Because it is so unique and often very complex, it's wise to hear from the experts, don't you think? Dr. Mark Yarhouse is one of the preeminent gender + psychology + Christianity experts, and we brought him on to share about his new book, Emerging Gender Identities, and help us to learn how to walk better alongside our friends who experience some level of gender + body dissonance.
//: Highlights:
“If you’re just a natural object, like a chemical compound…chemical compounds don’t interact with their cla...
Have you ever struggled to find quiet? In the world, in your life, in yourself?
We’re here with singer/songwriter and now AUTHOR Jamie Grace to talk about what it looks like to find peace and center ourselves on the Lord in this crazy world we’re living in!
Join us as we hear from her about artistry, anxiety, mental health, comparison, social media, and so much more!
//: Highlights:
“We have this misconstrued concept of what success is, and…we become so anxious as a culture and as a society and as a generation that we can’t find peace until we get the most, or the biggest, or the highest. A...
It’s the Hole in My Heart Podcast LIVE!
True story: This was about Plan D of our celebratory-book-launch-party-worship fest (thanks, Rona!), but God was in it all the same.
Today, Matt, Laurie, Steve, and some special guests celebrate the work of the gospel through Matt and Laurie’s story and through you all.
There are testimonies, prizes, jokes, and GOOFBALL ISLAND is back for one night only. Thanks for being a part of this adventure, fam!
//: Highlights:
“You’ve wanted to write a book—*A* book—for a long time. But the fact that it’s this book reminds me that it’s the gospel that’s impossi...
What does “fasting from your desire from sex” mean, and why was it so significant to Matt?
Why do so many male Christian leaders fall sexually? Is “maintenance sex” good for marriages? How can guys access their hearts more (and how can women help)?
Today we are concluding our deep-dive of themes in our Impossible Marriage book with a co-author, Matt Krieg.
//: Highlights:
“Oftentimes, because we are taught that sex is the thing that we're supposed chase—and we’re not supposed to be these emotional people, we’re supposed to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and get the job done…we just run...
We often encourage people to: "Live the Metaphor."
It means, "show us heaven in how you live and love." Sure, in our Impossible Marriage book we mainly use the phrase to exhort married people, but SINGLE PEOPLE LIVE THE METAPHOR, TOO. How? One of our favorites, Greg Coles, brings the heat, the love, and the real-time conviction about how single people equally give us a glimpse of heaven, too.
Bring it, Greg. Let's wake up, people.
//: Highlights:
“The Body of Christ is actually purposeful in having people are called to one vocation and another vocation, instead of turning us all into carbon...
When past trauma affects today's living, it can be challenging to function in any way.
In this first episode of our Impossible Marriage Moments' mini-series of three, we dive deep into that theme: Laurie experienced trauma's effects in her marriage, it magnetized to her attractions toward women, and together, they almost walked her to a divorce.
What can we do if past trauma is affecting us now? What if it's gripping someone we love? Author and therapist, Dr. Dave Beach, guides us brilliantly toward some next right steps.
//: Highlights:
“Loving attachment is the crucible for a lot of raw s...
We often talk about sexuality or racial equity--but what about when both hit home?
Our new friend, Henry Abuto, helps us understand what it is like to live life as a Black man who is also a sexual minority (and an immigrant!), and how we can all engage each other like Jesus.
//: Highlights:
“When I’m not easily swayed by my emotions and I inform my feelings rather than just follow them blindly, that’s when I know I’m speaking from a centered place….If you [Laurie or Matt] leave conversations with each other after resolving conflict, do you feel encouraged and loved by that person, even thro...
He's Black. She's white. He has his past. She has hers. Then they get married.
Guys, we have our REAL LIFE FRIENDS in the house, and they are here to show us a microcosm of the critical bridging of divides that must happen in our world.
How do they bridge barriers in their marriage? What can we learn from them about bridging racial divides today? Chaplain of the Kent County jail, Jason Botbyl and his wife, Julie, are here to help us out.
//: Highlights:
“I think to live life fully, especially in Christ, there needs to be this vibrant, diverse atmosphere, which I think people are really want...
If you've been around the church for a while, you know the verse:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11 has been showing up on coffee mugs and social media posts for years...but what if, as Megan Fate Marshman says, "we've been holding onto the wrong promises"?
Join us today as we hear from Megan about how to rightly interpret Scripture and hold onto the right promises--promises that will blow your mind if you let them. May you be deeply encouraged in the listening.
//: Hig...
Do you wrestle with shame?
Us, too. Today, we hear from Curt Thompson, author of The Anatomy of the Soul and the Soul of Shame, about how shame affects us, specifically in this pandemic time. Join us as we learn the roots of shame, how to hear from God, practices that help deal with shame, how to meet each other in it--and even talk about Jesus' lightsaber! This week's episode is balm to the stressed and shame-filled soul and we are deeply grateful for Curt's wisdom.
//: Highlights:
“What's the next new thing that God is gonna create? What is the next artifact of beauty that’s gonna happen ...
Raise your hand if you've ever felt lonely!
In this pandemic world we're living in--and even more, just in general--loneliness is something we all experience--and none of us talk about. Today, we welcome Jason Gaboury, author of Wait With Me, to tackle the uncomfortable and vitally important topic of loneliness. Why do we experience it? What do we do about it? Where is God in the midst of it?
Join us as we answer these questions and more this week!
//: Highlights:
“What most people don’t know is that the Christian tradition, that the Bible itself, has powerful tools that can lead people thr...
It’s Election Time! Is the gospel still good news...?
Today, we invite Michael Wear, Chief Strategist of the AND Campaign, to discuss how to hold onto Christ’s heart in the midst of intense election year. For a few years now, Michael and the AND Campaign have been wrestling with the tension of unity and diversity, especially when engaging in politics. Join us as we discuss unity in the Body of Christ, primary and secondary issues, how to speak up with grace, and how to receive grace from Jesus as we vote.
//: Highlights:
“The vocational question that has sorta guided my life is, ‘What does ...
Has it ever been hard for you to come to Jesus?
What do we do in those moments? When we are at the end of our rope, how to do we approach God exactly as we are?
Today, we welcome Rashawn Copeland, author of Start Where You Are, to discuss his experiences with these questions and more. Rashawn brings good and gracious wisdom to the table, inviting us to come to God from the place we're in--not where we think we should be--and trust Him to meet us there. Join us as we hear Rashawn's heart on this issue and others, always coming back to how the gospel is good news for everyone, everyday.
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Parents...this is your week!
This week, Matt and Laurie take your questions on the advice they give to parents of LGBTQ+ kids--and, really, it's just good advice for everyone, always coming back to the gospel and the purpose of our lives in God's eyes. Topics include:
What is the advice we offer to all parents of LGBT+ kids?
Would we bake the cake/do the photography/do therapy for a same-sex couple?
How do we know if we are called to marriage or singleness?
//: Highlights:
“The most—for me—winsome reason for God’s design for marriage being between men and women is because we’re so differen...